So... Umm... Where to start?

These past few weeks have been EPICALLY surreal. I broke up with Ben the week before last, I got sick of the lies and how he made me feel, I wasn't myself around him, I couldn't be. Although I was with him for 3years of my life and I am sad that I was made a fool of, a few good things have come out of it... and a few complex things. I'm not gonna go into all of it, suffice to say I crashed and burned in the most complete way possible. But to be quite honest it was needed..

The good things that have come out of it are that I have made a whole group of new and amazing friends. I can actually relax around them and just be myself, a few people in particular have been stars and especially one of them. Putting up with all my shit is hard, I know that much, so anyone who can do it and still want to hang out with me, is awesome in my book and they shall forever have hug/touching/tea making privileges.

Alongside the relationship problems and crashing and burning I have had to get extensions on my essays due to all the stress, my Grandad has been dying for a very long time, I have lost about a stone over a week and I lost the house I was supposed to be living in next year. So you can imagine what kind of weight I've had on my back. Not that it hasn't been helped by the friends I have and being able to go somewhere and know I'll always be welcome, but I just wish things were easier.

I have to change my whole plans for next year, the websites are going to be very hard to get running properly considering the dole won't cover rent AND food as well. Which upsets me because I wanted to make money from my art for a bit first, I know I can do it alongside but it won't be the same.

There's so much in my head at the moment, getting it all out is impossible. I haven't really been honest with anyone and I don't think I will be until I am honest with myself. I know this all sounds incredibly emo, but believe me these past two weeks, though hard, have been two of the best of recent years for me. I want people to know that because it is the only thing I am 100% certain about right now.